alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
