there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
