I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
