Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
