So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
