if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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