Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
