i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
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Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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