it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
