She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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