didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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