So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
