dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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