Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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