Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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