I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
