i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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