Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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