He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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