Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
