Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
