Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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