Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
