Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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