Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
