yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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