wrigley field is MILF paradise
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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