how can u be prego again
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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