new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
