Dual....:-)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
