Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
