If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
