Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
