that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
