and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
