I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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