why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Girls should come with a carfax report
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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