Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize