Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize