I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
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