he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
