Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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