Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
