There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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