the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There's a naked man in my car right now.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?