I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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