ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
