Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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