Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
