she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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