a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
