That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
