I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
