Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
