Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??

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  (810): Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me?? http://tfl.nu/91ci
  Replies (2) Good night (1212) Bad night (1558)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Why are you such a perv today?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  This is a lot to handle

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Oh shh

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm kidding you prude take a joke

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  (586): Why are you such a perv today? (586): This is a lot to handle (313): Oh shh (586): I'm kidding you prude take a joke http://tfl.nu/ucrc
  Replies (4) Good night (1064) Bad night (1087)
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  (212): View more from New York

  her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum

  (212): View more from New York

  i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls

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  (212): her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum (212): i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls http://tfl.nu/3qj9
  Replies (8) Good night (1059) Bad night (1558)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Try anal, it works wonders.

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  (478): Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week. (706): Try anal, it works wonders. http://tfl.nu/shua
  Replies (21) Good night (979) Bad night (2688)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on

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  (570): i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on http://tfl.nu/lrwn
  Replies (4) Good night (3423) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise

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  (408): Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise http://tfl.nu/iazs
  Replies (11) Good night (5247) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy

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  (214): dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/o6xr
  Replies (14) Good night (1320) Bad night (3047)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.

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  (410): The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/hr46
  Replies (5) Good night (3224) Bad night (884)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience

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  (401): it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience http://tfl.nu/4qkf
  Replies (11) Good night (589) Bad night (1693)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.

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  (609): Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel. http://tfl.nu/9ny9
  Replies (9) Good night (1826) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that

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  (805): If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that http://tfl.nu/xc7d
  Replies (7) Good night (682) Bad night (1360)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.

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  (209): DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now. http://tfl.nu/drmi
  Replies (4) Good night (781) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.

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  (360): The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head. http://tfl.nu/prnc
  Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day

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  (847): We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day http://tfl.nu/szgm
  Replies (4) Good night (549) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..

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  (920): All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot.. http://tfl.nu/vftt
  Replies (4) Good night (234) Bad night (533)

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