I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I pour the whiskey from now on
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.