The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
