Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
