Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
