My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
