**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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