Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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