im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
