As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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