return my video game
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
