Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
