is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
