So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
