did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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