I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
